LOST; HELPLESS; SEARCHING
Friday, August 18, 2006
♥ 11:02 PM
It's back to camp for me after failing to extend my mc. Anyway the doctor says that the bone has healed but my arm still has limited movement. Anyway I need to go for physio therapy on Monday and I have an ultrasound scan on Thursday. Well in camp I am basically slacking all the way. The only thing I did is eat, sleep and read. But during these 2 days, I felt kind of strange. Wonder what is wrong with me but I suddenly felt very empty, very lost. A feeling that I am searching for something but at the same time I don't know what I am searching for. Its like vacuum that I don't know what to fill with nor do I know the reason why it existed. I seem to have this question of why am I here in this world, I feel like life is just wasting away and I cannot find any answer. Furthermore I can only air my thoughts here. There is no one I can confide in. I thought I was capable and could handle everything myself and search for answers myself. But I was wrong, I never felt so helpless and so in need of a listening ear. Hmm a lot seem to occur within this 2 days in camp. Wonder what is going on.
