every beat of my heart

1st Week Of RP Course

Friday, March 30, 2007

♥ 11:25 PM

Times really flies and the first week of my regimental police course is over. The course is basically quite manageable as it consists mainly of lessons and some practical. I have been made the course ic and trust me it is not a good job at all. First of all many people do not give a damm about you and will not listen to what you say and on top of that, they will look for you for the smallest and stupidest things. The best part is the admin work that you have to do too. But so far being the ic is still ok and there are advantages too like when there is inspection, all I do is walk with the sergent and was spared from standing at attention under the hot sun. 4 more days to go and I will pass out as a RP. When I go back to my unit, hopefully I can get my long awaited promotion. Well for this course, I made many friends and well it seems that there is a chance of a long term friendship. Right now we have plans to go club one day. Hope it will be one great outing.

Rest after 3 duties in a row

Friday, March 23, 2007

♥ 10:47 PM

Finally I am back from camp since I book in on Monday. This week has been very tiring for me with the 3 duties in a row and the IPPT on Monday which all adds up and when I wanted to take a short nap, I knocked out till my dad woke me up for dinner and I did not realize that it was raining and my clothes were all drenched. For this week, first there was IPPT on Tuesday which I tried my best but still got only a pass due to my running again. Its always the case where I got like 5 points for pull ups, sit up and shuttle run and 4 points for SBJ but end up getting 2 points for my 2.4 which the my nemesis and no matter how hard I try still like that. But then again this means that I need to train more and harder to get my silver by June and hopefully gold by the end of the year. WORK HARD NORMAN. Wednesday was the day that I nearly did something wrong. Sham and Khairul were caught red handed for being late and they wanted to smoke their way by writing an earlier time in the book. But too bad, SO was behind them in the bus and he saw them. Sham lied that he had actually came early and he even wanted me to help him. Actually I nearly wanted to help him but in the end I did not and thank god cause his lie was un covered and he was still not sorry and quarrel with SO. The platoon really needs discipline and they do not seem to realize the importance of being early and actually resent being punished for being late. Come on man, punctuality is very important and especially for us to take over the duties on time so as not to mess up the schedule that has been plan for the day. If SO wanted to, he could charge them for being AWOL if they are late. On Thursday, I was on duty with Derek and he is super screwed up. First he did not update the timing of the vehicle log sheet and when I asked him to go raise flag with me, he says that he is tired and ask me to get someone else. I was like totally stun by this and this is the first time this has happen. On top of that, when came out to take over him, he had this camo scarf covering his head and he was sleeping. When I look at the vehicle log sheet, it was exactly where I left off when I handed to him at 2300. So I guess he must be sleeping all this while and the sentry does the work for me. That in my opinion is not very responsible and I brought the matter up to SO. Seriously this guy does not take his job seriously and is not suitable to be an RP. He needs to be caught red handed one day and get charged. This morning when I was on duty, a female officer from echo came in a cab and apparently she did not have enough money to pay for the fare and she was waiting for Jimmy. But he took so long and she was quite pai seh so she asked me if I had 3 dollars to lent her. Well she should have asked from me earlier but in the end, Jimmy came out but he only had a 50 dollar note and I did not have the change for it so I told her not to worry and she could pay me later. When I was leaving camp, Sham pass the money to me as Jimmy had pass it to him. When I got home, I wash my clothes, took a bath and then went to use the computer. After hanging my clothes, I decided to take a nap till dinner, but think I was too tired so I knocked out all the way till Dad woke me up for dinner and my clothes was wet by the rain. I was like oh man must spin the clothes to dry it again. Hmm these few days seem to rain a lot and I am so unlucky to be on duty. But since it is over so oh well no use complaining. Tomorrow going to Saku’s house to try recover some data from my old computer and hopefully get the photos that capture my memories.

The burden in my heart

Sunday, March 18, 2007

♥ 11:49 PM

My BS group decided to all wear army PT kits today for the car washing conducted to raise funds for the spirit flux project. Well, it was fun to wash cars and also at the same time interacting with each other. All went rather smoothly except for some one who I dunno for whatever reason put the pail on a car and the boot was scratched. Luckily it was not a deep one and I think it could be removed by sending it for waxing. Come on lah, use some common sense, who will put a pail that is being placed on the floor on the car. But thank god that it was not too serous.

Something happen these few days that made me very unhappy. Well, it all started with my old computer that I offered to give to Saku because his was spoiled. However F told me that he had thrown it away when I left specific instructions not to. So I was so angry with it that I vent all my frustrations and started bring out all the wrongdoings of F and complained to M who in turn pass it on to F. So it seems that F found out and was angry that he went to search for the computer and realized that he did not throw it away but slashed it away somewhere. When I came home on Saturday, I found out that F had angrily slammed the computer on my table and even said that he would repay me for the things he had taken last time. Actually I am very concerned about my computer as it contained photos of my first trip to china for OCIP and it has many memories for me. Furthermore I had left specific instructions not to touch the computer. But F still has to take this matter lightly. It is always the case and he has done it like twice, taking things concerning me lightly and never considered about how I feel. The wrongs that he has done are irreversible and it is really hard for me to forgive and forget no matter how hard I try to. I am angry with myself for not being able to control my emotions and venting all my frustrations. But sometimes I really cannot control myself thinking about the past and how the things F done that have affected me and how unforgivable it is. Many times I thought I have forgiven and have let go but realize that I am just pressing it down and I am feeling very tired and I realize that I just cannot do it. God I pray for your help and your strength to be with me that I can one day put down this heavy burden in my heart.

RP Course

Monday, March 12, 2007

♥ 9:59 PM

I am finally going for the RP course and hopefully when I get back, I can get my long overdued promotion. Its from 26 March to 6 April. Have to rescheldule my BTT to 16 May. Sianz

Sunday, March 11, 2007

♥ 11:39 PM

On Saturday, I went to SAFTI for Sam’s commissioning. This is the second time we are there, the first being Justin’s commissioning parade. Well this time is smaller and there are lesser contingents and well on the bright side, we have more time to take photos and it is less crowded. After the parade, we went to church with Seb and Sean to drop in on the bridging event and to have dinner there.

Today was combine service and I left home at 0720 but still was late cause I had to wait for the 859 for 20 minute. After service, we had family meeting at terrence’s house and after which we went to the playground to have our BS on the BGR. Today was interesting and we talk about many interesting topics and I hope that the young guys can really learn something from this session that Dan and I are conducting. After that, Justin and I went to the IT show. Justin wanted to get a external hard drive and a speaker. I wanted to get a dvd player, cordless phone and I also got myself new computer speakers. Jon came along to get his PS3. Sam and SamSee came down too cause Sam wanted to look at digital cameras. We went for dinner together without Justin and I got a lift to AMK from Jon. The speakers were great and its worth my 39 bucks. Lolz

Thursday, March 08, 2007

♥ 9:42 PM

Was supposed to go to the IT show today, but we had to do area cleaning and some people backed out so we decided to go tomorrow instead and we can go somewhere else after that. Think it’s a good idea after all because if we go today we will be rushing a lot and make a wasted trip after all. Hmm, today was normal with nothing special happening at all, just a fine day with no reckless driver or bees flying around. Oh and today’s lunch was super crap and disgusting. When I open the box, I nearly puked at the sight and the smell of the fish. The fish looked as if it jump into the box and had sauce poured over it. Oh and today I was told by master that I am selected to participate in the anniversary parade. I will be one of the first to march on the floating stage build for this year’s NDP. How cool.

Bees

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

♥ 10:07 PM

Today is another interesting day. While I was doing main gate duties with Saku and Raimie, suddenly out of nowhere came a swarm of bees flying in front of us. Actually I did not noticed them one bit because I was not facing it. Then Raimie suddenly asked us what that bunch of flying stuff was and I turn to look. I was like WHAT THE…., there was a swarm of bees flying around us. After that, Saku and I started running away and went to grab jackets to protect ourselves. Saku even got a shield. Lolz. Luckily for us, the bees did not attack anyone of us and they just flew to a tree nearby the pass office after a while. Oh man what a week with 7 ton and bees. Think I am really lucky. Lolz

Lucky man

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

♥ 10:08 PM

Today I had a lucky day again. See I was doing my main gate duties and there was this cab coming from OCS going to pick up 2 cadets and while I was questioning the 2 people in the cab, I heard a loud bang and when I turn right, I saw a 7 ton coming towards me, it was so close to me that I had to press myself against the cab to avoid being hit by the truck. Anyway I was like only 3cm away from it and lucky I am totally intact. I mean it could easily hit me or crush my legs or something else more worse. But thank god I am saved. So after which, I was told to write a statement against the driver and well he should be punished for doing such a dangerous thing by trying his luck in squeezing past me and the cab. I could be hit and that could be the end of me. Anyway praise the lord for his protection and blessings.

Letters From Iwo Jima

Monday, March 05, 2007

♥ 11:58 PM

On Sunday, Sam, Sam See, Desmond and I went to PS to watch Letters from Iwo Jima. Well it’s a real good show and thus when we went to buy tickets at around 2 pm, the seats were going fast and we got the 2^nd row from the front. Well it is not that bad a position after all and its not really straining on the neck. The movie is about the battle at the Japanese Island of Iwo Jima where the Americans wanted to take the island and use it as a base to attack the mainland of Japan. The Japanese soldiers who were protecting it were greatly outnumbered and they had poor equipment and lack of support from the headquarters. The Americans on the other hand had like loads of firepower and equipment to sink the whole island if they want to. The story shows the side of the Japanese in the war, which is different from the usual American side. After watching this show, I guess in war there are no good guys or bad guys but each side is just fighting for what they believe in and no one has the right to say or judge whether it is right or wrong. Rather in war, there is no right or wrong just ideals and beliefs, it’s after the victor is decided that the victorious side is good and the other side is evil. The movie also shows that not only Japanese are brutal people but Americans are humans too and are prone to the brutalities such as killing people who surrender. I mean war is tough and it brings out the worse in people and people do stupid things which they will later regret or never thought they would have done it in the first place. At the end of the day war is bad, the people suffer, the economy suffers and stock market crashes and people will have no money and life would be hard.

Ok recently I have a problem, I can’t seem to sleep and even if I sleep very late and wake up early the next morning, I will still be like normal and not feel tired or sleepy at all. I wonder if anything is wrong. But then it is not a bad thing after all. Lolz

Work blues

Friday, March 02, 2007

♥ 9:14 PM

Another week has passed and it is the beginning of a new month. For this month, I only have one weekend duty which is tomorrow and 5 other weekday duties. Hmm, work has not exactly been very good and I am rather pissed with some of the things that people do. For one, it real sux when you are the minority in a work place and people are just biased against you and trying all ways and means to make things difficult for you and come up with stupid and brainless explanations for things that they do which you find unfair. Discipline is also rather lax as people come late without being punished and punctuality is not a norm. Then again when you are a trainee, there is not much you can do to change the system and when you lodge a complain, people are unhappy although you are doing the right thing. But to me its ok, I will stick to my principles and fight all the way till the end. I still have around 7 more months to go and I will not be bullied. Try messing with me and one shall see what I am made off.

Ok now work aside, I am introduced to the show heroes by Yusaku and it’s a very nice show. I have just watched episode 1 and I am sort of hooked to it. It’s a show where different people have different special abilities and how they came to discover it and use it to change the world. So heroes got added to my list of shows to watch which includes Naruto Shippudden, Death Note and Gundam Seed.

Oh today Master was telling me that the next RP course may be the one month one which is the new course and it could be this coming March. I told him that I am very keen to go and also asked if I can be promoted when I come back. Well, he is surprised that I am still PTE so he says he will help me and hopefully I become CPL soon and get that $520.