My BS group decided to all wear army PT kits today for the car washing conducted to raise funds for the spirit flux project. Well, it was fun to wash cars and also at the same time interacting with each other. All went rather smoothly except for some one who I dunno for whatever reason put the pail on a car and the boot was scratched. Luckily it was not a deep one and I think it could be removed by sending it for waxing. Come on lah, use some common sense, who will put a pail that is being placed on the floor on the car. But thank god that it was not too serous.
Something happen these few days that made me very unhappy. Well, it all started with my old computer that I offered to give to Saku because his was spoiled. However F told me that he had thrown it away when I left specific instructions not to. So I was so angry with it that I vent all my frustrations and started bring out all the wrongdoings of F and complained to M who in turn pass it on to F. So it seems that F found out and was angry that he went to search for the computer and realized that he did not throw it away but slashed it away somewhere. When I came home on Saturday, I found out that F had angrily slammed the computer on my table and even said that he would repay me for the things he had taken last time. Actually I am very concerned about my computer as it contained photos of my first trip to china for OCIP and it has many memories for me. Furthermore I had left specific instructions not to touch the computer. But F still has to take this matter lightly. It is always the case and he has done it like twice, taking things concerning me lightly and never considered about how I feel. The wrongs that he has done are irreversible and it is really hard for me to forgive and forget no matter how hard I try to. I am angry with myself for not being able to control my emotions and venting all my frustrations. But sometimes I really cannot control myself thinking about the past and how the things F done that have affected me and how unforgivable it is. Many times I thought I have forgiven and have let go but realize that I am just pressing it down and I am feeling very tired and I realize that I just cannot do it. God I pray for your help and your strength to be with me that I can one day put down this heavy burden in my heart.