Monday, January 26, 2009
♥ 3:08 AM
School has started and one month is going to fly past and my memories of this semester has all been about rushing, rushing more rushing to meet deadlines, having meetings and trying not to fall asleep when I do my work. Since school started, I have been trying to juggle my Internship, JCRC commitments, tuition and my school work. Thank God that so far I am doing well, keeping up with my school work and also the other commitments. The only drawback on this is my health which has taken a toll. I have been suffering from my gastric pains for close to a month without any signs of recovery. It comes and goes and when it strikes, it’s unbearable. Other than the gastric, I just recovered from a bout of flu which is prone to come back now and then in case I do not take care of my health.
I thank God that I am able to pull through although I have so much on my hands now and that I am still alive and kicking and not dead yet. Right now no matter what, I will set aside my time for devotion.
Hall production is coming soon and our nights are mainly on rehearsals and carrying props. Sometimes I think that I should not be in Hall production since I am already so packed. But then again, we are short handed and it is really irresponsible to quit now and leave the rest in the lurch. No matter what I will press on with the rest of the props team who have worked so hard and we are ambitious this year to contribute better props to the performance.
Had several meetings with YEC and right now, I am still quite free from there, nothing much just mainly having dinners with them and getting to know about the committee and seeing how I can contribute to it. Hope that the serious part will come after Hall Production.
CNY Celebration was a smash, we had steamboat dinner, dragon dance performance, performances by our own Sing and Strum and games. It was well planned by social though there was not enough soup at the end for the steamboat and pretty much our food was dried up. After that, James announced his official resignation as Hon Gen to the JCRC. It was a pity losing him as he has been my mentor since I came to Hall and guiding me a lot. Well now it is time for me to stand on my own feet and strive it out on my own.
Business is working with Social for our Vdae event and I hope that we will make it happen. Praying hard for it to come true.
Time really flies and CNY is here and next Saturday is my birthday and also Finals for our softball Girls. Hope that we will bring back the golden cookie this season.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
♥ 11:20 PM
It seems only a while ago when school starts in Aug and now its January and the start of the year 2009. Well 2008 has been an eventful year for me with the start of my tertiary education in NTU and the determining point of my life in what I am going to do in future. Looking back into 2008, there are unfulfilled resolutions, new things that I have tried, new experiences and definitely more growth after a great many happenings in my life. Looking back on my resolutions that I have put down when the year started, I have only fulfilled the ones like learning excel (though I still have much to learn), getting my driving license, reading more business books (read a few but still far from expectations) and getting to know more people definitely through start of school and also the Asian Business Case Competition. I have failed to complete the Bible in one year, failed to be more involved in Church and to make matters worse, I am not as active as before. The first significant thing in my life in 2008 is my decision to go on the mission trip to East Asia where it was really an eye opening experience for me to see how other people are struggling to serve God as much as they can with all the difficulties that they face and really how fortunate we have been in Singapore. We had great interactions with the local workers there and also the youth and at the same time, I learn a lot about the people that I am working with and also many of my weaknesses like how I can be very direct and insensitive to other people and how I tend to overwrite leadership. Well it was overall a great experience for me. Coming back to Singapore and like any other people who have gone on such trips, great declarations were made to keep in contact, keep each other in prayer and also to have regular updates about the situation there but then again, as life moves on and getting hectic day by day, all these were soon forgotten and I am guilty of not thinking of the people there any longer just getting on with my life and getting settled in my new school.
I started school in August in NTU, a freshie who was raring to show the school and world what he is capable of. I was ambassador for Asian Business Case Competition, got into Business Solutions through 3 rounds of interview, elected into the committee of Hall 15 as a Business Manager and also managed to secure an internship during my December holidays. Just when I thought that life was good and everything since coming to NTU (which was a miracle in itself due to my screwed up A levels) with great friends and experience and good start to my resume, all came crashing down with the release of my results for the first semester. I did very badly with a C+ for stats which was one of my favorite and most prepared subjects, B- for Econs which was also one where I prepared very hard for it, B+ for marketing and A+ for Organizational Behavior. Well I worked very hard for the examinations and this had to happen to me and I am really unsure on what had gone wrong. But after thinking through it, what has happen has happen and how it’s time to work harder for the next 5 semesters and try to do well and always keep a positive mindset in everything that I do.
With further reflections on my life since I started school, I realized that I have lost myself in work and all and really my walk with God has suffered greatly and I have lost the fire for God. Looking back now, I realized how stupid and arrogant I have been in trusting myself more than God and thought that myself was in control and really top of the world and I guess the results is God’s way of telling me that what he can give, he can also take away with a flick of his little finger and how stupid I was in trusting myself so much. For the excuse of being busy, I have not been praying a lot, quiet time was compromised although I still do but it was not really fruitful and also I have not been regular at services and also cell group (some issues that I shall not mentioned). I am also very disgusted with myself on how I came to God and being so close to him and all while I was in need but once I do not feel the need, I fell away from him and his soft voice was lost in the loud noises around me. I guess this was really a lesson to learn and remember and how I should never think that I am greater than what I really am.
One of the greatest lesson to learn and for me to remember is to be humble and really let God have control of my life and commit all things to him for we so small and so insignificant and the moment we think that we can achieve everything by ourselves, God will make us fall many times worse. I am glad that in my heart, I can still feel this teaching by God and really want to thank God for letting me come to my senses. I have been too arrogant and too think I can achieve it all by my own.
Another great lesson is that I should not take my family for granted. I really thank my Uni friends , people like Hui Jia and Miao who constantly tell me how important my family is and I am glad to have got everyone out for dinner on 26th for my parent’s anniversary and a great thank you to Liang Ying for coming to my house for mahjong after dinner with my parents. Now I really appreciate my Mum for standing by me and comforting me when I got my results and almost broke down. She was there to encourage me and really telling me to go on.
I am really blessed to have many great friends in my life and now in school, I have made a great many more, in Hall, Tutorial Group and also Business Solutions. All have been very encouraging and especially my roomie and best friend of 8 years and yes, we shall work hard together next semester.
The start of 2009 is well not as good a start for me, but I will have a positive attitude and work hard in everything I do and also strengthen my walk with God and rekindle my passion for Him. Here are some resolutions that I have for 2009.
1) Strengthen my walk with God and discover YA more and how I can serve the Lord in church.
2) Spend more time with my family and learn to appreciate them more and not take my Mum for granted and not to get angry over small things
3) Work hard on my studies and try to pull up my GPA to a 4 at least.
4) Do my job for 2nd semester as a Business Manager well to have a good ending
5) Learn as much as I can about Business Cases and work hard in Business Solutions.
6) Do well in YEC as a new member and see if it is what I want to do.
7) Be more humble and less arrogant
8) My personal favorite to make more friends and improve my interpersonal skills.
